


Because Ours (are the moments I play in the dark)

by lolnothanksfam



Series: Please Could You Be Tender? [1]
Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Assassination Plot(s), Awkward Conversations, Eve just wants to feel normal, F/F, Psychological Drama, Villanelle is lost, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-11-28 06:55:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18205022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolnothanksfam/pseuds/lolnothanksfam
Summary: The truth was: the moment the movers left her flat and the reality of loneliness and independence had begun to set in, she began to feel better. Lighter.It was as if the world finally began to spin again. Then again, It didn't take but ten minutes for there to be a knock at her door, and although Eve hadn't invited anyone over there was no one else it could have been but.. Villanelle.___Villanelle is back and ready to throw another wrench into Eve's life. Can the two ever just be happy?





	1. ... You're here to kill me

When she had finally decided to rent out a flat for herself, it was as if a large, Niko sized weight had been lifted off of her chest. It wasn't a divorce per say, instead they called it a separation and left it at that. She would go over for dinner on Thursday and Sunday nights, and when it became too suffocating she would leave. It was almost like they were dating. _Almost_. Because Eve wasn't being entirely truthful to Niko, and while it hurt for a moment, she could **not** tell him the truth.

The truth was: the moment the movers left her flat and the reality of loneliness and independence had begun to set in, she began to feel better. _Lighter_.

It was as if the world finally began to spin again. Then again, It didn't take but ten minutes for there to be a knock at her door, and although Eve hadn't invited anyone over there was no one else it could have been but.. _Villanelle_. She had an unsure look in her eyes, one that Eve had only seen before she..

"Oksana!" She rushed out surprised, eyes widening as the assassin shoved her way into the house, holding a large pizza and cradling a bottle of champagne under her arm. "Thank god! I thought you would never move out of his flat!" The blonde exclaimed, placing the food on the counter. Eve still hadn't recovered from the door, turning towards the assassin and taking a couple unsure steps into the room.

"... You're here to kill me." She said, quickly looking around for anything that she could at least use to defend herself (there was nothing. She was in such a rush to move out that she had barely even bought furniture, let alone anything remotely resembling a weapon).

"No. I'm here to eat pizza." Villanelle replied, as if it were obvious. "Oh." Eve whispered, "-and then trash your flat.. although that might be a little difficult.. and maybe stab you. But not kill you. I promised, remember? That would be rude," Villanelle smiled a toothy grin that reminded Eve of the Cheshire cat. "Don't be an asshole Oksana," Eve chided with a roll of her eyes.

\-----

The pizza was meat-lovers and was absolutely calling Eve's name as the two sat on the hardwood floors with a blanket Eve had hastily put under them. It wasn't exactly as awkward as Eve had thought it would be, but maybe it was just because she was still so tired. "How did you know I had moved anyway?" Eve asked around a bite, trying not to make eye contact with her.

"I've been watching you, keeping tabs. Your old neighbors are not very loyal to you."

Eve winced, Niko _had_ always been their favorite. "What? The Mosleys? Jeez, I even made them a gift basket for their Anniversary!” she took an angry bite of her pizza, “.. jerks.." She muttered. "Apparently your yelling is louder than his, they think you're at fault." Villanelle replied with a shrug.

"And you?" Eve asked, finally looking into Villanelle's eyes.

"And me, what?"

"Do you think I'm at fault?" There was silence for a couple minutes. Villanelle chewed thoughtfully. Eve sipped on her champagne.

"No." She replied simply, and then, "He was boring. Safe. You guys were to divorce eventually, whether you had become obsessed with me or not." She smirked.

"I am not obsessed with you," Eve countered, flustered, to which Villanelle only raised her eyebrows in response as if to say 'if you say so'.

“I’m not,” Eve said again, but it wasn’t any more convincing. “I think a regular person who wasn’t obsessed with their probable murderer would have called the cops should an assassin show up on their doorstep.” Villanelle countered.

“Well you already said you aren’t here to kill me.”

———

The sun had long set by now and the pizza was almost half finished. At some point Villanelle had regressed to laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. "Why did you come here Villanelle? And don't lie to me, you would have stabbed me already if you were actually mad with me." Eve asked, wiping her hands on a napkin.

"Whose to say I just haven't gotten around to it yet," Villanelle countered, but the look on her face told Eve all she really needed to know.

There was a lonely look behind her blue eyes, and Eve understood entirely. She didn’t know where else to go. Didn’t have anyone else to go to. Villanelle was.. alone.

“I’m on leave until.. they need me again,” she revealed softly as Eve began consolidating the trash. “Which means they’re relocating me somewhere... hell it could be Antartica they’re being so vague. But until then...” Villanelle trailed off.

Eve hummed in acknowledgment, eyeing the time on her wrist watch. “Well.. I’m sure your latest hotel is much more lavish than my apartment but you could always stay here,” she suggests nonchalantly.

Villanelle sits up at this, “Wait, really?” she smiles, “Oh Eve Polastri I knew you were obsessed with me!” she exclaimed.

Eve rolled her eyes and got to her feet to throw their trash away and place their glasses in the sink. “Either way, I have work tomorrow and need to go to bed so you need to make yourself.. scarce.” She ran a hand through her hair.

“Oh,” Villanelle said, getting to her feet as if that were an invitation, she made a move to go upstairs.

“Woah there stud, I said you could stay here, not sleep in my bed.” Eve smirked, she liked this power she had suddenly.

“Uhm.. Eve?” Villanelle turned around, expectant and Eve very suddenly remembered that there was a lack of anything for Villanelle to sleep on except the hardwood floor. Shit.

——

She washed her face with Villanelle watching from the bathtub.

“You have such beautiful skin,” she commented.

Eve rolled her eyes, “Don’t say that, its creepy.” she told her, rubbing a damp wash cloth over her skins

“Why? Because I’m a psychopath?” 

There was a beat. “No, its creepy because it just is.” She tells her, shrugging.

Villanelle is silent again.

“Did Niko never compliment you?”

Eve laughs, “The compliments kind of.. end after a year or two.” Eve admitted into the mirror, suddenly raking her eyes over her skin. Was she really beautiful? Under the bags that had taken purchase under her eyes and the wrinkles on her forehead.

“Huh,” the assassin huffs, “I would  _never_  stop complementing you.” 

Okay, Eve needs to switch the topic before it gets too much. She picks up her toothbrush. “Does the Twelve pay for regular stuff?”

“Like what?” 

Eve applies the toothpaste, “Like dentist cleanings.”

“They’re criminals, not animals. Of course they do. Trust me, my smile was not this white when they pulled me from prison.”

Eve leaves it at that. For now.

\----

When they climb into bed, it’s silent. Awkward. Funny enough, Eve isn’t afraid at all. There’s apprehension sure, but she’s pretty sure that Villanelle sleeping in her house might even make her safer than with her out of her house. So she settles in to sleep, in a very awkward, stiff position. 

“Eve?” Villanelle whispers, turning on her side.

“Yes?” Eve asks, not daring to open her eyes. “The last time we were in a bed together I thought we were going to have sex.” She tells her bluntly. “And then you stabbed me.”

Eve sighs, “And?” She peeks an eye open to see her tiny assassin looking at her intensely, it’s intimate and real. “Please don’t stab me again, I don’t think I could take it.” She whispers, leaning in and burrowing her face in her neck, slinging an arm around Eve’s midsection and pressing her lips to her pulse point. It wasn't a kiss.. but it wasn't not one either.

\----


	2. My Bosses Just Aren't Dicks

Villanelle is a _very_ clingy sleeper, Eve finds. Even when she turns in her sleep at some point, she never moves from her spot directly next to Eve. There’s barely a centimeter in between them in some parts of their bodies. It’s... comforting.

Niko was never a cuddler, not that Eve minded. He didn’t need to be one, she didn’t need him to be one. But Villanelle was different. Her presence seemed to put Eve’s mind at ease, reminded her how tangible Villanelle really was. She was here. She was real. 

Regardless, Eve didn’t get much sleep that first night. She lay awake, her body facing away from Villanelle with only her back touching the younger woman. Eve feels like a drug addict because she _wants_. She _wants_ to turn around. She _wants_ to take in Villanelle's entire being and just feel her. 

She wants to know if Villanelle is having as much trouble sleeping as she is. But her breath is too even to even consider her being awake.

___

When she does wake, its to her phone’s alarm. 5:30. She’s got work at seven (a much earlier time than normal MI-6 agents but Carolyn was still icing her out over Paris). Villanelle groans from beside her and burrows her face further into Eve’s neck, where she’d taken purchase somewhere around two in the morning (not that Eve was keeping tabs).

(She totally was).

The feeling of Villanelle wrapped around her frame, her own hands tracing down the blonde’s spine, its so comfortable that Eve doesn’t want to move. She’d finally passed out at some point in the night, and resulted in very few hours actually being spent towards sleep.

“Oksana,” Eve mumbles over the loud beeping, attempting to rouse the childish assassin from slumber. No response. Eve’s lips brush over Villanelle’s forehead (completely by accident of course) and she tries again, this time with a more forceful attempt, sliding out from the assassin's grasp and hitting snooze. Villanelle cracks an eye open for a moment before mewling- _yes like a god damn cat_ , and wrapping her arms around Eve’s midsection. “Its too early,” she groans, Russian accent thick and filled with sleep.

Eve runs a hand through her hair, eyes staring up at the ceiling instead of directly at the woman anchoring her to the bed. “Yeah well I have to work, and unlike _you_ , I don’t get to choose my hours.” Eve says, not bothering to deny herself the moment of the extra warmth just yet.

“On the contrary,” Villanelle responded, her low, sleep filled voice vibrating Eve’s side. “I never get to choose, my bosses just aren’t _dicks_.. usually.” Eve wonders just how many of her bosses she’s actually met. She wonders if it even matters at this point.

Eve rolls her eyes in lieu of a response, halfheartedly pulling herself out of the vixen’s grasp. “I’ll be back,” she says, walking into the adjoined bathroom and starting the shower.

__

Her shower takes about ten minutes longer than usual, when at some point in the midst of cleaning herself up she realized that she would eventually have to change in front of Villanelle.

Well, she doesn’t _have_ to. But she also doesn’t want to give Villanelle the satisfaction of inflicting modesty. Modesty is power. She wants to surprise her, throw her off her game (admittedly for reasons she’s not sure she wants to think about).

So instead she rinses her body, lets the suds run down her body and takes her time. It's a cleansing, a decision. It's political. She reaches for a towel. Wraps the garment snug around her lithe body and does her morning routine.. It’s a new house, so there is a lot of digging around but eventually her anti-wrinkle serum is applied and her teeth are brushed, and a very fair amount of makeup is applied. 

By the time she tiptoes out of the bathroom, the little punk is asleep, burrowed into the pillows in a strange position like a teenager. _Dick_.

Eve rolls her eyes at the soft snore emanating from her pillow but doesn’t wake her, instead she opens her closet in order to decide on what to wear. She grabs a random pair of underwear and an old but still usable bra, pulling them on in a very unsexy, awkwardly jerking fashion. There’s a hole in her panties at the waistband and Eve suddenly can’t remember a time past high school where she didn’t have this particular pair. Eve Polastri- a real sex god. 

Eve eyes a variety of turtlenecks, button downs, and the occasional blouse, each just a slightly different color than the next.

“Wear the blue one,” A voice says from her bed, making Eve yelp and practically jump out of her skin at the sound.

“Good God! C-Can you Not do that?” Eve demands, flustered suddenly. Villanelle pouts, “What? Speak?”

“No- I mean, can you not scare me? We need to get you like.. a bell or something. Jeesh,” She turns back to her wardrobe and digs out the baby blue button down, a color she hadn’t worn in a while. It would do.

She started to put the shirt on, followed by the dark gray dress slacks that she wore to work. Villanelle appeared suddenly to button the last of the buttons. “I wasn’t aware you were giving a show this morning, I wouldn't have fallen back asleep otherwise.” She commented, tugging on Eve’s collar.

Eve shrugs, “That sounds like a personal problem." She punctuates the line with a smirk.

She tries not think about the fact that the last time they were this close, she had stabbed her. And that the time before that Villanelle had a knife pressed to her throat. 

She tries. 

___

She ends up at work with little to no help from Villanelle, who insists on cooking her breakfast, but also needs to go buy actual food before she can do that. Eve is.. grateful, but there is something in her eyes that tell her something is wrong. She doesn't press though. The food is magnificent, and Villanelle cracks a joke about bringing her lunch (After having a mild heart attack, Eve makes sure she is joking). She awkwardly grabs her things and makes to leave, telling Villanelle to lock up if she leaves and to "not kill anyone."

___

She’s a couple minutes late, but she’s positive that the only person who truly noticed her tardiness was the usual security guard who gave her an odd look but let her in the building nonetheless. Unlike most mornings, the building is packed. Busy suits pacing the lobby with some sort of purpose, phones pressed to their ears. The air is thick but Eve doesn't really know why everyone is riled up, it was a Monday after all. 

Eve dodges businessmen left and right and instead takes the stairs to her office where Kenny is sitting perched on the desk, “Eve,” he rushes, grabbing her arm and directing her towards the elevators without much time to set her things down. Something was wrong.

“Mom needs us in her office, somethings happened. There’s been a spotting of…” He looked around quickly and lowered his voice “ _Oksana_.”

What? Eve willed herself to keep walking, stepping into the elevator. Eve's heart started to race, “Oh god, what did she do this time?” Eve asked, trying not to seem nervous as the doors closed. Kenny looks at her like she's just crapped in his cereal. "You don't know?"

"I don't know what?"

“She killed a member of parliament last night… did you not see it on the news? It's been everywhere!”

Eve put a hand to her head, rubbing at her forehead. “No, I just moved into the new apartment last night, I won’t have cable for another week,” she groaned, “Who did she kill?”

“…The prime minister.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of your support! <3
> 
> A little plot there, what trouble has Eve and Vilanelle fallen into this time?
> 
> Please leave a comment or kudos, I love hearing from your feedback. 
> 
> Do you think it was Villanelle? Seems pretty shady. Do you think Eve really trusts anyone at this point? Where's Elena when we need her??!


	3. Did They Leave A Note?

The Prime Minister was a younger, portly man named Wiley Ackerman who wasn’t very popular in the current media. Not to say that he was _un_ popular either, in fact it seemed that once he’d been elected he didn’t exactly step on any toes… at all. Politics was almost at a stalemate. There was nothing bad to say, but nothing good either and it made a lot of people angry. That being said, after being in her line of work for so long, Eve wasn’t exactly surprised by his death.

She is surprised, however, by how much the case reeks of Villanelle. It was artful, well structured. When she’s shown the photo of the man’s dead body, the lifelessness of his open eyes, his fingers splayed across his chest splotched with dried blood, an entry wound in his abdomen with no bullet. No traces of poison. But it was never that easy. It’s kind of cool, Eve thinks to herself as she sits across from Carolyn, an armada of men in suits, her only defense being Kenny and the hair clip she’d accidentally broken on the drive to work.

They are all looking at her expectantly, as if she would just eye case and say ‘Yep! That’s Villanelle alright, what a scamp that assassin is,’. But Eve knows. Eve knows it couldn’t have been her ( _most likely._ If Eve were to put a number on it then she's at least 86% sure). She hadn’t left at all last night, she was in Eve’s bed for crying out loud! Not that they knew of course.

So she shuffles the papers around, reads a couple of the statements, eyes Kenny out of the corner of her eye. “Who found him?”

“His husband. He was found in his office, he’s brought him up his lunch.”

“Is there no footage of it being done?”

“Well there are cameras.. but its been tampered with. At one moment he’s sitting in his chair, the next he is slumped over dead. Theres no footage of anyone in the halls either.” Kenny supplies helpfully.

Eve chuckles, “Well it definitely can’t be Villanelle then,” she leans back, folding her arms in front of her chest to make eye contact with Carolyn.

“And why not?” she sounds a little outraged.

“Because it isn’t flashy enough. All her murders so far have been skillful, we knew just by looking at it that it was her. Plus I’m fairly certain that she is shit with technology. All that was in her flat was an old box TV and a handheld radio.”

“Why would she want it to be flashy? She’s an assassin for gods-sake, not a showsman.”

“Yeah, an assassin with an overly large ego,”

There were murmurs coming from the men in suits, to which Carolyn rolled her eyes and supplied dryly, “Yes, Eve was at her flat. Eve stabbed her. Get with the program.”

Eve shuddered involuntarily, “Yes well, it was an accident.” She pulled the file open again, “The person you are looking for is probably someone from the inside. Ackerman obviously had personel on him all the time. Has anyone questioned his staff?”

“It is currently being done now.”

“We’ll start there, we should also look into his political enemies. I think we all know how poorly recieved his decisions were.” Eve hummed, sitting back in her chair and nudging her partner in crime.

Carolyn seemed slightly miffed, “That’s right, you and Kenny should get right on it.”

——

Kenny was silent for a long time, typing away at his keyboard. Hours passed with something obviously bothering the young man, his mouth would open as if he had something to say sometimes, then he'd clear his throat, and then continue working. The silence was slowly killing Eve. Man she wished Elena were here, she'd have him talking already. She clicked out of Facebook and sat back in her chair to look at him.

“That was a fun meeting huh?” She asked dryly.

Kenny looked up and offered her a half-assed smile then looked back down at his work.

“Are you okay?”

Silence again. God dammit.

It went on like this for a couple minutes before Kenny finally sighed, “I had an unpleasant conversation last night with my- with Carolyn,” he told her gloomily.

“I’m really tired of the way she acts sometimes, and furthermore..” he looked straight at her, “I want to be more directly involved. I know you need help with the tech stuff but I hate being brushed off. Mum wants to protect me, but I want to be more active in our cases.”

Eve sat and thought about it. “Alright. You have a deal.”

Kenny brightened, “Really?”

“Sure. You want ground work? Lets do some ground work.”

Their shared smile was interrupted by a knock on the open door where a girl who worked in the lobby downstairs stood. "Eve, someone sent you lunch. Secret admirer?" Asked the gossipy runner. 

"No I don't think so.." and then, "God I hope not." 

She thanked the girl before dismissing her, peering into the bag at the tell-tale boxes from her favorite Chinese place. "Who's it from?" inquired Kenny from beside her. Eve shrugged, "I don't know."

"Did they leave a note?" 

Eve rummaged around until she found the card, paling when she noticed the red ink and the message, 'See you later, baby x'.

——

Their first task was to get the statements from Ackerman’s staff. As it turns out, the former Prime Minister's bodyguards were not too pleased with the accusation that they'd failed their job. They dodged questions left and right until somehow, remarkably, Kenny was able to get them to crack. Apparently the guards hadn't been too focused on their job as they were in a poker game between the Prime Minister's guards and the diplomat from Portugal's guards, leaving the scene of the crime around the time of death. (They were very upset to reveal to Eve that they had also lost the poker game).

Kenny was a stud through the whole thing, and afterwards she took him out for ice cream to celebrate his first victory on the ground. He was so happy, almost like a puppy with his infectious smile. Eve understood Carolyn a little better in that moment as they waited in line and Kenny chatted on about some sort of super computer in China. Carolyn kept Kenny out of the major operations to keep him, to preserve him. Kenny wasn't that innocent, she knew it, he knew it, but he was _good_. He was so good. 

Eve appreciated him more and more as time had gone on, and in a way she loved him as if he were her son too. If anything were to happen to him.. well, she doesn't quite know what she'd do. He gets some sugar-filled cake flavor while Eve settles on her regular vanilla and she congratulates him on a job well done. 

——

Her work day is over around 4:30 that day, and by the time she gets home she is exhausted from staring at screens for most of her day. But when she steps into her flat she finds it not as she'd left it the morning before. What had once been a barren apartment with gray walls and a weird ominous water stain in the kitchen was now a mostly furnished home. There were items Eve certainly did not buy for herself, like a light blue fabric couch sitting on a nice tan rug in front of a television set, or the dark wooden dining room table with matching chairs and centerpiece. Every once in a while she saw things that she did in fact own which only meant- "Did you go through my stuff? And.. furnish my whole apartment?" Eve asks Villanelle when she sees her, already toeing off her shoes and dropping her briefcase to the floor. 

Villanelle is perched at the kitchen counter with a mischievous smile on her face, not unlike what Eve imagines she looks like when she gets a new target. " _Maaayybe_ , well- not all of your stuff. The stuff over the cabinets were too high, but yeah. Most of your stuff is unpacked." Villanelle tells her, holding out a gin and tonic for Eve before the asian woman can even slightly be annoyed by her actions. Eve thanks her, stepping into her bubble. 

"How was work? Was it stressful? Do you need a massage?" Her Russian accent hits all the syllables roughly as she asks the questions, hands reaching out to touch Eve's shoulders. There was something Eve was supposed to do.. supposed to ask. 

"Can I touch your hair?" Villanelle asks into her ear and Eve absentmindedly nods, sipping from her drink. Villanelle excitedly slips her hand into her hair and pulls it out from its up state, running her hands through the locks, "Wow," she whispers, more to herself than to Eve.

"Villanelle there's something I need to ask you," Eve asks, reveling in the feeling of the assassin's fingers in her hair. "Yes?"

"Did you kill the Prime Minister?" 

There silence for a minute and Villanelle slows her actions as if she's contemplating something. "No? Why would I do that? Me? Kill someone?!" She's getting more eccentric now, "What do you think I am? A psychopath?!" She feigns shock, but it isn't really an answer.

"No Oksana," Eve becomes a little more stern now, "I need to know- is this what lunch was about? Why you're in town? How-" There's a knock at the door, providing Oksana with enough distraction to pull away from Eve. Eve takes another sip and allows Villanelle to answer her door with a "Helloo-" The scream that follows is familiar, and loud. "What did you do to my best friend you psycho-" Elena. 

Eve whips around to see her front door wide open with Elena pinned to the open door and squirming.

"Oksana, let her go!" Eve orders, to which the assassin turns her head to look at her outraged, "She started it!" 

Eve narrows her eyes and Villanelle finally gives in with a roll of her eyes. Elena scrambles out of the assassin's reach and the blonde slams the door. "Elena, what are you doing here?" Eve asks, turning towards her friend as if it isn't strange that there's an assassin in her flat. "What am I doing here?! What is _she_ doing here?"

Eve goes to respond, but instead turns to the assassin who suddenly looks a lot more grumpy than she did when she walked into the door, arms crossed and pout evident on her face. Adorable. "Oksana, do you think you can you give me and Elena a moment alone?" Eve requests, flashing her a smile.

The assassin just rolls her eyes, "If I must," and stomps her way upstairs.

The slamming of her bedroom door startles both Elena and Eve. "She's so temperamental sometimes, I'm sorry." Eve apologizes, as if she's apologizing for a child or a puppy, not a young woman almost half their age. Elena balks for a minute, "I was just coming around to check out your new flat- did she buy all this?" 

Eve throws her head in her hands and Elena chuckles, "Damn girl, you found yourself a sugar mamma, a psychopathic killer sugar mamma, but it still stands." 

"I think that would only apply if I were the one with the money Elena- and don't call her that. She doesn't like it." Eve admonishes. "Oh, does the cold blooded assassin not like getting called out?" Elena reaches into her purse and acquires a bottle of wine. "Did you like your lunch today?"

"That was you?!"

"Uh.. yeah?" Elena pauses, "Wait, did you think Oksana did it? Pfft. I was just messin' with you- I didn't know she was here. Why is she here anyway?" 

Eve shrugged helplessly, "All I know is that she said that she wouldn't kill me. The rest.. well the rest is new."

"Have you two shagged yet?"

Eve goes to respond but she's interrupted by a muted, "CAN I COME DOWN YET? ITS VERY BORING UP HERE!" coming from her bedroom. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Now that we get the general feel of what the plot is, tell me what you think- your theories and stuff. I'm lolnothanksfam on tumblr. 
> 
> Please comment and give kudos to your local fanfic writers, even if its not me! 
> 
> I've been thinking about writing more in this set universe, but like little one-shots on the side. LMK what you think.


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